So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
