then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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