she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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