"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
