i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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