i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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