Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
