There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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