I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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