you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
