im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
