I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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