Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize