smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
