i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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