SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
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Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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