They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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