Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
