How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
