I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
