So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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