did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hippo gnu deer
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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