but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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