dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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