if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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