Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
