He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
