if i can run in heels then i can drive
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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