I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
