It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
