"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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