I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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