is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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