Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize