I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I love having hate sex.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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