I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
