the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
