ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
