Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This is my gift to your gina
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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