He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
