I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
