Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
