Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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