You can't motorboat a personality
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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