wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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