i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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