In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
