I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
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Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
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I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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