is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
