9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
