The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize