Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
how drunk are you?
Several
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
