Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
