Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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