Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
