im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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