Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
