Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
