I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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