I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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