i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize