Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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